All my life I have never been a black or white person, there always had to be a grey area – there had to be some sort of unconventional explanation for anything that happened. In the same way my dress sense resonated that same ideology. I have never had a fixed sense of style, nor do I think it’s necessary for someone to have to feel like conformity is the only way of life.
Now don’t get me wrong, this was a constant battle, more especially going into varsity life and adolescence. Being somewhat of a people pleaser, it was extremely hard to ignore the expectations from people, the “you’ve got an amazing body you should wear this and that” and that really threw me off to be quite honest and ended up unleashing so many of my insecurities.
Many people think that insecurities stem from body consciousness or body shaming – all seemingly such an immense and ever recurring social issue of what ‘the perfect woman’ should look like. We all have that internal battle but mine seems to be mixed with the notion of not wanting to lose my sense of self in trying to impress everyone around me because I would rather make them happy than myself.
That right there that is a tough realization, that you cannot please everyone.
Quite recently I found myself in a place where I thought maybe my sense of self is not good enough, maybe I am not enough, that maybe society is right. That was extremely scary, believing something – believing in yourself for such a long time then coming to a point where you aren’t too sure about it anymore. I was actually tremendously disappointed in myself for letting myself get to that point.
I have now come to the realization that trusting yourself and your journey is very important. Letting the outside sources get into your head can be quite detrimental.
I will no longer let myself be clouded by what others want or expect from me. I love the way I dress daily, otherwise it would never be a thing.
It is important to trust yourself consistently and stand your ground. The way you look directly affects the way you feel and never let anybody else make you feel less than you are.
- I am here
- I am enough
- I am unstoppable
Ph: Lwando Mxutu (@lwando_m)
Stay beautiful, stay blessed
Amanda Klaas xx